Friday, 18 March 2011

Eat Pray Love: From 127 Hours to 133 minutes of my life - wasted...

There was I, thinking James Franco could do no wrong these days. After his stunning performance in Danny Boyle's 127 Hours, and his stint of presenting the flippin' Oscars, he is hot stuff at the minute. And it was this opinion of him (and the mention of the wonderful Javier Bardem) that prompted me to stick Eat Pray Love onto my Love Film list. Now, in all fairness, I did this before the film had actually been released, and before I had read any scathing reviews, so when it turned up in the post, I found myself questioning what on earth I had been thinking, tainting my rental history with a RomCom... Bleurgh.

Approximately three minutes in, I was no clearer on said question. I clearly hadn't done my research, and had somehow missed the fact that Julia Roberts plays the film's lead, Liz. More fool me. As I have been trying to avoid dairy, this sudden influx of cheese was more than I could cope with. By the time Liz meets the considerably younger, free-spirited actor, David (Franco), the story began to resemble a Mills and Boon novel (yes, this is an admission of having read one, but it was for an English class I took during my degree...honest).

Just as the joss sticks probably would have been - if I had smellovision - the film was really beginning to get up my nose by the time Roberts was swigging wine and troughing copious amounts of pasta in Italy. This section of the film looked like M&S had decided to adapt one of their "This is no ordinary bowl of cheesy pasta..." ads into a 20 minute short. Interesting...

Before she turns into a meatball herself, Liz jets off to India to pray - presumably that the effects of her carb-infested diet of the last few months won't be long lasting. Now, this bit is a little blurry, as I suddenly realised that my nails needing painting and might have looked away for a minute or two. But there was a guru, who told her she was "afraid to love again" after her somewhat bizarre divorce from her rather pathetic husband Stephen (Billy Cruddup). Aha! So she's afraid...

Liz, moments before being mowed down by the ravishing Felipe...
Perhaps the answer is in Bali? After almost killing her, Felipe (Bardem) looks like he could be her guy. Shame, if he'd have come round that corner a bit quicker, this could have been a very different film indeed. Nevertheless, she survives, and I won't spoil the ending for you, but let's just say they live happily ever after. Oh, sorry, did I spoil it? Impossible.